"Gettysburg" - A Review - Part 2

Day 2 begins with the narrator describing the battle plans of the Confederate army. During this time, we are introduced to Confederate Gen. Barksdale, from Mississippi. You are immediately drawn to the hideous representation of a “beard”; the look of wet, matted dog hair taped to somebody’s face. After we learn about Barksdale, I heard something that made me want to throw my remote through the TV.

People often ask me, “What if they had machine guns in the Civil War?”. I always say, “Forget all that. One set of walkie-talkies could have changed the outcome of the Civil War”.

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SERIOUSLY!?

This is a documentary about Gettysburg! Not about “what-if” scenarios! The fact that this slipped into the actual program just blows my mind. This program is supposed to be a “documentary”. Let’s review what that actually means:

Documentary - Based on or re-creating an actual event, era, life story, etc., that purports to be factually accurate and contains no fictional elements

At this point, we’re only 45 minutes into the program (including commercials). After that comment, we can now admit to ourselves that this is not a documentary. For the last 30-some minutes, “Gettysburg” has been struggling to stay afloat on facts. When it comes to the combat, tactics, and first-person accounts, it does it’s job. But, for some reason, the Scott’s thought it was a great idea to throw in useless opinions, such as using machine guns or walkie-talkies in the Civil War. Again, this is a program called “Gettysburg”; not “Things Would Have Been Way Different If Both Sides Did Different Things: Let’s Talk About It”.

Finally, we get to 4:30PM on July 2nd. Inexplicably, it depicts the Union army initiating the combat of the second day. It’s impossible to say that the entire Union army held it’s fire until the Confederates commenced their assault, but it is general knowledge that the fighting on the southern portion of the battlefield started with Confederate batteries opening on the Union positions around Devil’s Den and the Peach Orchard. As the narrator is talking up the fight to come, we have to watch an uncomfortably long segment of Barksdale’s horse rearing, while Barksdale shouts words that are unfamiliar to us that know English - or any other real language, for that matter.

Then comes the “Rebel Yell”. Absolutely embarrassing. The camera zooms in on some awful dental hygiene, but that’s not the problem. The problem is the actual sound coming out of their mouths. Out of 7 different shots, only 1 actually sounds like the original Rebel Yell. The others sound like noises from a comedy sketch, including one where the only thing you hear is the soldier saying “Yak! Yak! Yak!” as if he were part of the Three Stooges.

The Rebel Yell fills the air. Each unit has a unique sound.

Really? If you think so, you should check out the video below (thanks to Sean Pridgeon for sharing the link):

The Rebel Yell Lives: Part 1



Barksdale’s Mississippi Brigade finally attacks, and breaks through the Union positions near the Peach Orchard. The Peach Orchard is high ground between the Union positions on Cemetery Ridge and the Confederate positions on Seminary Ridge. As Barksdale’s men break through, the program depicts the soldiers running into a ravine which has a stream and a few marshy areas. I could live with this being somewhere close to Plum Run (a stream that runs north-to-south through most of the second day’s fight). However, we’re never told where this is. I’ve been studying the battle for more than 20 years, and I can’t even point out where they are. If it’s supposed to be the Peach Orchard, then the ground has inverted itself. It can’t be near the Trostle Farm, because their basically fighting in the woods and the terrain is too steep. Honestly, I can’t believe I’m sitting here trying to figure it out. I shouldn’t have to do that. If someone that loves Gettysburg as much as I do cannot figure out what’s going on during a scene, then that’s a problem.

Now, my favorite scene. After Barksdale is shot off of his horse, a wounded soldier stumbles upon his commander and attempts to give him water. The soldier grabs his canteen, swings it to the front of his body with one arm, and then proceeds to unscrew the canteen! Oh my. This isn’t a canteen from World War II. This is just getting worse. How lazy do you have to be to let something like this pass?

So, all we have are canteens with screw-tops. Should we use them? Sure, let’s use them. It’s just a canteen.

Good job, none of you. You might be saying to yourself, It’s just a canteen, but that’s my point. If you can’t get a canteen right, you’re not going to do much better with anything else.

Ironically, after blundering their way through the first 36 hours of actions at Gettysburg, the Scott’s get something right: Culp’s Hill. The location is perfect, showing the steep incline the Confederate soldiers had to deal with during the attack. Even the Union lines are represented well, with Union soldiers spaced 4-5 feet apart (this was done because most of the troops on Culp’s Hill were sent to reinforce the army’s left flank, and only a brigade was left behind to defend a position that a division held only hours before).

One of the most confusing and complicated parts of the battle is finally explained and depicted correctly. But why? What made the Scott’s want to portray Culp’s Hill correctly? I guess I’ll never know.

The next entry will conclude the fighting on Culp’s Hill, and the depiction of Pickett’s Charge. It’s the most famous assault to ever occur on American soil, so it just has to be done well, right?

Right?

…Right?